The Man From Chamberlain, Part 2

Ok you vultures, here’s part deux!

Our second date quickly followed the first. No real surprise since before we’d even gone on our first date and I told him about my upcoming trip to Cuba, he said maybe we could take a trip together sometime. I laughed and told him let’s wait and see how our first date goes before we run away together. Every time I saw him, he talked about things we could do in the future. I didn’t really think too hard about it, but definitely noticed how he brought it up with ease.

So for date number 2, we went to the movies. It’s worth mentioning that he paid for date one, and date 2 (you know how I like that). I don’t really like going to the movies, but when it’s a quiet night, I can get down with that. The theatre was pretty empty, but there was a woman who had brought her grandchildren and they were giving her just enough sass for us to be laughing at them. We went to see Jumanji 2 (Better than I expected and we laughed a lot). Oh, and it was in one of the theatres with the big chairs and foot rests, so I enjoyed that as well. I took my boots off and curled right up in that chair! After the movie we stopped at a pub near my place for a late supper where we flirted and got to know each other some more. He’s a small town, redneck, rig-pig, with a really big “old man” streak. And nothing about him was putting me off. Highly unusual. When he pulled up to my apartment, I thanked him for a great evening and asked if we can kiss good night this time. Obviously he said yes, and it was good. And then I went inside. Alone.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you know that waiting for sex isn’t exactly a strong suit of mine. I’m all about the casual. Except when I like/kinda like someone. Then I wait. It’s not even a conscious decision, it’s just a natural reaction. But my patience only goes so far.

For our third date, I invited him over for supper at my apartment. My plan was to give him ample opportunities to make a move. I was ready to give myself to him, mind AND body. Just kidding! I’m not that corny. I wanted to get fucked. But I also didn’t want to make the first move, so I left it up to him. There was just one medium-sized, black and white, furry cockblock  that I had to worry about. My dog, Walter. He immediately loooooved the man from Chamberlain and was all up on him. He was making way more moves than I was! Thankfully he’s a dog lover and has one of his own, so having Walter all over him did not faze him in the least. So, we had supper, watched a movie, cuddled the dog, and then he kissed me and went home. Without putting his P anywhere near my V. But, after getting to know him over the week and a half or so before this, it was not the surprising. He doesn’t have a lot of game, he’s a gentleman, and sex isn’t his main agenda. Add that to pros like, he’s younger than me, financially responsible, and owns real estate. My 36 year old self was getting turned on just thinking about all that stability. All I needed now was a glimpse at his retirement plan….

My Adoption Part 3

Since my last post about my adoption, I haven’t really done much. I did a bunch of online searching for a few days and then sort of stopped because I didn’t feel ready to pursue it more than I had at that time. I found some good leads on my birth mother and felt confident that when I was ready, I would be able to reach out and connect.

Her name isn’t a very common one, which is good. That makes it a bit easier to narrow down the search results. Unfortunately, I could not find her on any social media sites. But, after some googling, I found an obituary of her mother where she and all her siblings and their children were listed. And some of them are on facebook. And I did find a woman matching her name on LinkdIn living in BC. From what my adoption records indicated, my birth mother was taking some sort of cooking course at the time of her pregnancy with me, and this woman is linked to a restaurant and catering business. Sounds promising. But that’s about where I left it.

In the last few weeks, I decided to look into it some more and actually sent this woman a message, as well as a message to one of her sisters. I did not indicate in either message who I was, just that I was looking for a woman with this name. I told the sister I was an old friend. Neither have responded. So now I’m considering my next move.

And while I’ve been considering what I want to do next, I received a call from the post adoption registry with news of my birth father. Well, not exactly news. We haven’t found him yet. But the woman who was searching for me called me to fill me in on what she had found so far. She is a lovely woman and wanted to speak with me on the phone as a personal touch instead of just firing me off a generalized letter. She did some digging into the name that was listed on my birth record by my birth mother. She didn’t find anyone matching exactly the name given with the spelling, but did find some others with a slightly different spelling of the last name. The first man she contacted spoke to her on the phone and was very nice about it, wasn’t defensive about anything, just told her he wasn’t the one. He had been married since 1976 (5 years before I was born) and had never stepped out of his marriage and did not recognize the name of my birth mother. Completely believable given that the information my birth mother had provided was that my birth father was about 25 when they met. He said he had a nephew with a similar name, but he would have been too young. There was another man she found who lived in New York, but none of his information matched. Another she found had died before I was conceived. Every path she went down hit a dead end. After a search has been conducted and no matches found, or the birth parent is found to be deceased, the name can be released. So yesterday I received a letter in the mail giving me his name. The first place I looked was Facebook, and a man in Saskatchewan with a slightly different spelling than the one listed was the first to pop up. I don’t think he’s the same one that was already reached out to, so I might send him a message. I studied his pictures to see if I recognize any of myself in him, but nothing obvious stands out.

So, at this moment, I’m deciding what my next moves are going to be on both birth parents. I feel a lot of anxiety over this. Both about finding them, and about not finding them. If I never connect with either of them, that would be easiest. Because if I do, there are so many possible outcomes, both good and bad. I prefer optimism, so I’m going to keep searching and roll the dice with their reactions.

The Man From Chamberlain, Part 1

So I’ve been trying this new dating app called Bumble. It’s like Tinder, except when you match with someone, only the woman can message first and she only has 24 hours to do so and then the man has another 24 hours to respond. If the message is not sent or responded to, the match expires. My initial foray into Bumbling was pretty similar to every other dating app and didn’t seem that promising for finding anything or anyone special. Until I matched with the man from Chamberlain. He seemed pretty nice and normal and didn’t say anything gross or inappropriate to me, so I gave him my number. Our initial conversation happened on a weekend while I was on a little road trip with a friend to a small town to visit some other friends. Chamberlain seemed even better after my friend drunkenly swiped right and matched with all the local Tinder users. On my Tinder. One of them (an unattractive man in his 50s) even tracked me down on facebook after I didn’t respond to his messages and tried to engage me there. I engaged in blocking him.

Anyways, Chamberlain and I set up a date for the next night. But, after you throw up in a sink and then have to pull over on the side of the highway to puke up honeydew and water because your body is still mad at you for filling it with vodka, tequila, and special candies, plans change. I chose to lay perfectly still for hours and hours instead of going on a date. It was the right choice. But the night after, that night was a go.

He took me to Red Lobster because he was watching tv and it was lobster days or something. It had been awhile since I’d gone on a proper date, so it was pretty nice to have someone come and pick me up and take me out for supper. We had pretty good conversation, he made me laugh and asked me lots of questions. His truck doesn’t have command start and takes a long time to warm up. It was February and pretty cold outside. It wasn’t exactly environmentally friendly, but he left it running the entire time we were inside so that I wouldn’t be cold when we left. He drove me home and was already talking about things we could do on our next date and future dates. I think my responses were something like, mmhmm, yeah sure, sounds good. There was no kiss on the first date, but there was something about him, and so I did agree to see him again.