So, sometimes I just want to get drunk and fuck, you know? And that’s exactly what happened about 5 weeks ago. I went out for a friend’s birthday and when I got home, was texting this guy. Ok, 2 guys. But I needed to play the odds. There may have been one point where I forgot which was which, but it all worked out in the end. Sort of. My first choice had to work in a couple of hours, so he couldn’t come over. But I’m sure I’ll get around to sleeping with him, and then tell you all about it! He has a girlfriend, they’re in an open relationship and he moves around a lot for work, so they both use that opportunity to play with other people. And since no commitment is kind of my jam, it’s only a matter of time before our schedules line up. But, I digress.

I tell the other one to come over. It’s our first time meeting, but he seems alright and a 26 of vodka is a pretty powerful aphrodisiac and trust enabler. He gets to my apartment and I lead him into my bedroom. We get down to business pretty quickly and I have to say, it was…mediocre. At best. He was a fan of how I sucked his dick though (who isn’t?!) and kept trying to get me to do it some more. I was bored and not really into it. I didn’t even want to have sex with him anymore. So what I did instead was tell him how incredibly hot it would be just to watch him jerk off and make himself cum. “Really? You’d like that?” “Oh yeah baby, I looove it!” Men are so easy. (Admittedly, I actually do like to watch. Masturbation is fascinating, as long as I’m into the guy doing it. This time, not so much, but he didn’t know that.) So I gave him some lube and away he went! It didn’t take long before he was ready and asked me where I wanted him to cum. “I want you to cum aaaall over yourself.” He did.

And he’s messaged me twice a week since. “That was so hot when I was over, let’s do it again.” I only responded to one message and told him I was really sick with strep throat and his response was, “That’s ok, you can just watch.” What a thoughtful fucking sweetheart. Bye! Blow ya never! (Again)