So I’m out and I’m drinking and dancing and I run into someone I know. She’s there with a few of her friends and she introduces me to them. They seem like nice people. We spend the rest of the night chatting and joking around, and a few of us end up going for some late night food before we all head home. One of her guy friends and I hit it off really fast and have a good banter going. He’s engaged, so I automatically put him in a “safe” zone. Meaning I think I can make all the inappropriate jokes that I normally make and they won’t be misconstrued as hardcore flirting. (Foreshadowing)
We all go to leave and the other two grab a cab and as I’m about to get my own, he offers me a ride. Duh, of course I’ll take a ride. I like free things. On the way to my house, I’m asking him more questions about his life and about his fiancé and the upcoming wedding. He seems a little…reluctant? Disinterested? So I ask him if he wants to get married. He says no. We’re at my house by this time. Obviously I have to delve into this issue and question him further. I don’t remember everything he said, but I do know I told him that he should rethink it all and decide if this is the life he really wants because if it isn’t, he’d better change trajectory now before it’s too late. It would be better to call off the wedding and cause some hurt now than to go through with it just because it’s the next socially acceptable step in life. Otherwise, he’s going to wake up in 5, 10, 20 years and realize all the time he wasted not being happy. Not to mention all the time his wife will have wasted by creating a life with someone who felt obligated to live this life with her. I’m not sure what it was about my drunk, unsolicited advice that turned him on, but the next thing I know, he grabs me and we’re making out in his truck. And then suddenly we’re naked in my bedroom! I guess nothing is free after all.
This guy was ALL about the tongue. I’m pretty sure he was trying to lick and suck his way into my soul. And when he couldn’t find it in my clit, he searched my asshole instead. And let me say, Oh.My.God. I don’t know if he can cook, but man can he toss a salad! It’s a good thing for my roommate that he’s a deep sleeper. And it’s a good thing for me that this guy was a deep licker. For him, maybe not so much. You see, while he was licking me to kingdom cum, all the pleasure…relaxed me. And I farted. In his face. Probably in his mouth. Just a little one. It took me by surprise, and I laaauuuugghhhed. I laughed so hard. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha And what did he do? He giggled and went back to work like a goddamn champion!
Later, he wanted me to ride his face and I wanted to have sex, so we compromised and had sex. When we finished, I walked him to the door and said goodbye. The next day I realized I walked him to the door naked and that the porch light was on and the blinds were open and it was dark outside. I hope the neighbours were all asleep. Chances are it wouldn’t even be the first time they saw me naked anyways.
And what happened to the soul searcher? I don’t know. He probably got married.