I’ll call him “Ron”.
I met Ron through Tinder. We had a decent conversation and I gave him my number. We texted for a few days and everything was cool. He’s 41 and works for the city. We had some decent conversations, but of course he would eventually lead it towards sex. I don’t mind talking about sex, but there’s limits. He told me a lot of things he likes, and that he’s pretty kinky. I told him that I didn’t want to keep talking about sex or things that I like and don’t like because then if we end up sleeping together, there’s weird expectations and limited surprises. Plus, I just didn’t want to only talk about sex and told him he could get to know me. He agreed, and we had some more good conversations. Then Thursday came along, and I went out. He told me ahead of time that if I needed a ride, I could call him. We hadn’t met in person yet, so I said I didn’t think that was a good idea and I didn’t want to wake him up since he starts work at 6. He said he didn’t mind. What I really meant was that I would be drunk and prone to bad decisions. He didn’t mind that either.
Well, at the end of the night, after finding and wearing a random hat and dancing on some sort of table at Q nightclub, Drunk Amy remembered that there was someone who would drive us home and we didn’t need to pay for a cab. Obviously my friend thought this was a great idea, especially since I never introduce her to anyone that I’m interested in, or sleeping with. To be fair, I don’t usually introduce any of my friends to anyone. And for good reason, as you’ll find out. So I call Ron, and he says yep, he’ll come get us.
Ron shows up and we get into his truck and head to the north end to drop my friend off. The entire way there, she makes jokes about me, asks him inappropriate questions, and shares waayyyy too much about my life. The next day she tells me she now understands why I never introduce her to anyone that I’m interested in.
After we drop her off, we head back downtown to my house. When we get there, he parks and comments on how he has a very nice down-blouse view. I may have had a slightly tasteless amount of buttons undone on my shirt. He leans over and kisses me. He’s a very good kisser. I kiss him back, hard. And then pull away and say, Thanks for the ride! And hop out of the truck. Goddamn prick tease.
He texts me the next day to tell me how much he enjoyed making out with me, and wants to see me again. But my schedule doesn’t work for the next few days for going out, so I say we’ll have to plan for the next week. Well, the next evening I have free happens to be Thursday again. And I’m going out. Again, he tells me to call him if I need a ride. Obviously I call him. Drunk Amy already made a hypocrite out of Sober Amy, so why the hell wouldn’t I? And once again, he drives all the way to the north end to drop my friend off, and then back downtown to drop me off. This time, I have my hand on his thigh when we make out in his truck. And by thigh, I mean upper thigh. And by upper thigh, I mean his dick. He seemed to like that. I’m sure he would have liked it even more if I hadn’t gotten out and gone inside my house alone again.
We keep trying to make plans, but again, my schedule is not always conducive to making dates. I make some time for him before one of my night shifts and stop by his house on my way to work. Well, his apartment. It’s weird how a simple thing like taking your shirt off leads to having a dick in your mouth, but who am I to stop the natural progression of things? He already had a cock ring over his dick and balls. And what he really wanted to do was jerk off while looking at me, so that was easy enough, plus I like watching guys jerk off. I told him he could cum on me if he wanted, and that then he should lick it off after. He didn’t like that idea. And he calls himself kinky! I laughed, I thought it was a great idea! He came on himself.
So then I left because I didn’t have time to hang around and do anything that would get me off. But I was relatively turned on by the experience. Not enough to see him again though. After hanging out with him soberly, I wasn’t that interested. Plus, he was 41 and still renting. The older I get, the more I realize the things that are really important in a man: Real Estate and RRSP’s.
We didn’t talk much after that. He texted a couple of times and I didn’t respond. And then a couple weeks after that, he found me on Pof AND Tinder again and messaged me on both. He told me he lost his phone or some bullshit like that and to text him and left his number. I didn’t text.