Don’t Play it Again, Sam

It’s been a month since I ended things with Sam. He was alright. On paper, he had a lot of qualities that I look for. But in reality, he wasn’t for me. On our first date, he paid. Points for that. But then he didn’t tip our waitress! I peeked at our bill and it was around $39. He handed her $40 and told her to keep the change. I saw the look on her face. The look that said she wished she had spit in our food.

The more I talked to him, the more bored I got. There wasn’t anything that excited me about this guy. I got to the point very quickly where I didn’t even notice when we went a couple of days without texting. And then when I did realize it, I didn’t bother sending him a message. I just didn’t care if we spoke or not. I was even past the point of seeing if there was anything physical between us that would spark some feelings in me. But then I got drunk.

I was out at O’Hanlon’s, a local pub, on a Thursday evening, and I needed a ride home. So obviously I called Sam. I told him to take me to his house, but insisted we drive through the park first where I made him pull over several times to make out. When we finally got to his house, he was pretty worked up and it didn’t’ take long for us to get naked. The sex was…ok. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good, it was just…ok. It did not make me want to do it again and again. 2 minutes after he came (I didn’t), I said, “Ok, take me home now please.” He looked at me and asked if I wanted to spend the night or at least stay and cuddle for a bit. Nope, home please.

He drove me home and I get inside and get ready for bed and he texts me. He texts me kissy faces and hearts. Fuck. I’m kind of an asshole.

We text off and on for a couple of days, my responses to him are short. I try to figure out the best way to tell him I’m not interested. I felt that since I’d already done a bang and bail, maybe I should wait a few days before telling him I didn’t want to see him anymore. You know, not destroy his ego. So I waited. And then a few days passed where I didn’t hear from him. Whew! I was in the clear! Yeah right. On the Monday of the August long weekend, he messaged me to see how my weekend had gone. I answered and responded with the same question. He told me it was good, but would have been so much better if he’d been able to see me because he missed me. Goddamn it. I was really going to have to have “the talk.”

It’s not you, it’s me, blah blah blah. What I actually said was “That’s sweet, but I have just not been feeling a real spark between us. I like you, but not in a romantic way and I don’t want you to waste your time on me.” His response was, “Oh k well good enough. Its cool, you straighten things out with the other party.” Other party? Wtf does that mean? Does he think I was seeing someone else? Obviously that’s the only reason I couldn’t be interested, right? I guess I didn’t need to be worried about his ego! *eyeroll*