Sam. And Calm Your Tits.

Ok, I wasn’t going to write about Sam right away, but given the feedback I’ve gotten about my last post, I think I should, just so you know that I do actually talk to/date nice men too. Before I begin Sam’s story though, let me address and maybe alleviate some of your concerns.
This blog will take whatever direction I choose. I haven’t written about weight loss in awhile because there hasn’t really been any. When I feel comfortable writing about that again, I will. My dating stories are a part of my life that I do like writing about. Admittedly, sometimes I do go along with the experience because it makes for a better story. I write for myself, but I also write for my readers, and I feel it’s important to be as honest as I can while still keeping some things just for me. And that is why I tell the sad stories and the frustrating stories, as well as the funny and uplifting. I stated in the beginning of my last post that I wasn’t sure I even wanted to share it because I was slightly embarrassed about how long I kept in contact with him. I could have easily kept the story of the doctor to myself, or edited it to make myself look more empowered and like I live a “take no bullshit” kind of life. But that’s a lie. I mean, I do try to do that most of the time, but I don’t always succeed. I make mistakes, I make poor decisions. But they’re my mistakes and my decisions. Not every man I meet is a contender for the same thing. If you aren’t single in the age of internet dating and disposable relationships, consider yourself lucky.

You don’t have to understand my journey, and I don’t have to define what I’m looking for as an absolute at all times. I’ve invited you along for the ride, and it’s not always going to be smooth. But I promise that it will always pull an emotion out of you. If I can elicit a response, whether it be a laugh, admiration, concern, anger, sadness, whatever, then I feel good about writing about it. Please keep reading and discussing 🙂

Now, let’s talk about Sam. My memories of meeting him are foggy at best. It was a Thursday night and I had consumed a cocktail or two and was at a club I had not been to before. He recognized me from Pof and with encouragement from my friend, came over to talk to me. I don’t know what we talked about, but I gave him my card to call me sometime lol He called me that night, and texted me. (There was another number on my phone when I woke up the next morning that I didn’t recognize. It turns out my friend gave my number to a different guy. She thinks she’s really funny.) I responded to his texts the next day and had him send me a picture since I couldn’t remember what he looked like. He’s pretty good looking. I agreed to go out with him, based on my friend telling me about her conversation with him and how nice he seemed.

Sam is 30, tall, handsome, ambitious, educated, straightforward, sweet, and kind of funny. He is originally from South Africa, but has been in Canada for 5 or 6 years now. He has a brother in the country as well, and the rest of his family currently lives in the UK. He is finishing his masters in finance and already has a job in his chosen field, as well as a parttime job doing sound and lighting at events around the city. He has big plans for his career, as well as having a family. Oh, I almost forgot the most important/impressive thing about him. He has not once, not ever, sent me a picture of his dick! After being in current dating world as long as I have, it takes so little to impress me! He wants to know what I think about things, we have real conversations. Although, I think he’s still trying to figure me out. I’m a little quiet on a first date, and I think some of my answers to his questions threw him off a bit. But it seems to be intriguing to him. He can’t figure me out so he wants to know more. I’m unintentionally mysterious.

We have gone out twice now. Once just for a drive around the city, and once out for supper and a drive around the park. He paid for supper, big points! Somehow, both these instances ended up with us at his place. Funny how that works. I enjoy making out with him. He’s a good kisser. He’s very affectionate and complimentary. It’s nice. And yet, the second time we made out, he told me how much he likes me and how I’m his dream woman and even though it’s too soon, he already knows he wants to pursue a relationship with me. And all I could think was, “but there’s still other men I want to have sex with!” Now, I don’t need advice on this, so please refrain. What I am doing now is trying to figure out if this is just cold feet at the thought of actually being a relationship with someone, or if I’m just not feeling it. I don’t have butterflies when I think about him or I see him. I’m not excited about the next time I get to see him. I am not fantasizing about him. A whole day went by where we didn’t text and it didn’t even occur to me until I went to bed that I hadn’t talked to him all day (he did text after I’d gone to bed and he had been at his second job). But, I don’t dread the thought of seeing him again. I’m just sort of…ambivalent about it right now. So I’m going to see him again. Probably this weekend. Both times we’ve made out, I did go home wet, so I think at the very least, it’s worth pursuing that physical attraction, right?! 


2 thoughts on “Sam. And Calm Your Tits.

  1. I can’t believe I missed reading this entry! I love your writing, thank you for having me along on your journey. 😃
    Any updates in Sam? 😬

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