The Kris & Kelly Show

Hey, did the rest of you happen to catch Sunday’s episode of my favourite nighttime drama, “Kris & Kelly”? It was the one titled: You’re So Emotional, Kelly. No? Well, let me catch you up! I arrive home from work just after 7pm and it’s been a long weekend of work and Passion Parties, and I’m looking forward to some quality couch and PVR time. But my roommate is watching tv and putzing around the kitchen. So I go to my room instead. Within minutes, my roommate goes into the bathroom and starts yakking. It goes on for so long that I begin to think he houses a small man made lake inside his body and is now trying to expel it. Or maybe he’s been possessed. Tis the season. Gross. I leave my room so I don’t have to listen to him anymore.

He goes to his room after and I switch to the livingroom to watch tv. All is quiet for a short while, and it’s glorious. And just when I’m settling in to some trash tv, my favourite (not favourite!) reality program begins. It starts out at a normal level of volume for a phone call. I can tell he’s on the phone, but I can’t make out what he’s saying over the tv. Which is perfect because I don’t care to eavesdrop. That choice is taken away from me as the volume of his voice grows. And it grows and it grows. Like a gentle rumble of thunder in the distance, I start counting the seconds between the lows and the highs, One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three mississip….Boom! High volume. One Mississippi, two missi…Boom! It’s getting closer! I’m right on the edge of my seat, my heart pounding! The storm is upon us! It all comes crashing down in a big booming “You’re so emotional, Kelly!!!”

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