And now onto the Towel Soaker. So, I’m on Tinder. If you’ve been under a rock, Tinder is a dating app that is basically just used for hookups. Although I have talked to some nice men on there, and I do know people who have met their significant other through the app. Anyways, I started chatting with one man on there. Age-appropriate even. There were lots of “cake” references. I was baking a cake one night while we were chatting and it turned into how good my cake is, how much he likes eating cake, etc etc. I had him pick me up one night after I’d been out drinking and went back to his place. I’ve never been with a man quite like him. He was like Augustus Gloop in the chocolate factory, just couldn’t get enough. A pussy glutton, if you will. He was down there for a long time. A very long time. But it paid off. I think I actually passed out for a second or two because the next thing I knew, he was getting a towel because I had soaked the bed. It took two towels. And one for his face. I fell asleep a very satisfied lady.
I hooked up with him one more time after that. He was an odd guy. He didn’t even care about having sex. Like, at all. So I let him eat cake. After awhile I asked him if he wanted to have sex and he said no, but he liked that thing I was doing earlier. I said what thing? He said, that thing with your mouth. Really? You’re a 33 year old man and you can’t say blow job or sucking cock? So I said, “Naw”. And rolled over and went to sleep. What a dick move hahaha The next morning, he was getting ready for work and I came out of the bathroom to see him putting compression socks on. I cannot unsee that. He drove me home and that was the end of that. He was a smoker, and both times I spent the night, I stunk like cigarettes. The towel soaking was amazing, but, sometimes a girl just needs to get fucked, you know?