The Problem With Casual Sex

After QCR left for work, I received an email from him almost immediately apologizing for his fast performance and worried that I wouldn’t want to see him again. I told him it we could try it again (He had much better stamina the second time). Now, beyond the sex, something else started happening. We talked about what we were looking for when we first started chatting. It came up again when he said he could see us starting to date. Then he started asking me more questions. Here are a few excerpts from his emails to me…

So I gotta ask. Would our relationship be a fwb thing or would you want to date? What if we found someone else but still wanted each other lol

I like the idea of fwb but I also like you a lot more then that. But with my hectic work schedule I haven’t always had the time to commit to a full time relationship. So I’m cool with just being whatever. So that being said have you dated any guys since I saw you lol

If you have seen other guys since meeting me I of course have a bit of jealousy there because you are a cool, sexy girl and a part of me wants you all to myself. But that sort of seems silly at the same time and you are obviously free to do what you want. So have you? haha I would eventually love to take you out but I just don’t know when. Plus the thought of you and I being fwb is kind of a turn on. So for me that is what I would want. But I understand that the more we talk the more the attraction grows.

No, I haven’t seen anybody, haven’t had time to even though I do get emails from girls I used to talk to but I if ignore them. When it comes to sex and good looking girls you are by far te best I’ve been with in a long time. But it’s a deal for me. And if another guy woos you and you feel he is the one let me know and I will back off. So what are some of the rules then? If we go on a date with other people and end up having sex with that person is that a no-no or what. haha

Have you had sex with any of your dates? Sorry if its none of my business. Just curious is all. Not like I can do anything about it anyways. :p

So I think I know what you mean by possibly getting in to deep with the fwb thing. I’m very attracted to you and not just for your body. You are smart and funny. I could see us hanging out watching a movie. But I just don’t have time to do that at the moment. Did you know we have emailed each other over 400 times in the last month? Hopefully I’m not creeping you out. Not like I’m falling in love or anything but I do really like you. “sigh”

My responses were basically all the same. I told him that I do like him, but would have to actually spend some time with him to see if there’s anything actually there. I don’t require a lot of time, but if he doesn’t have the time, he doesn’t have the time. I’m not going to wait around for him. I told him I have been dating other guys, but what I do or do not do with them is none of his business. And there are no rules. I told him if he asked me not to fuck anyone else because he wants to actually give a relationship with me a go, then I would agree to that. Otherwise, I will do whatever and whoever the fuck I want. And it will continue to be none of his business.

After the last message when he said he’s starting to really understand the feelings that can develop out of a fwb situation, I told him I warned him. In the very beginning, I told him in my experience, it’s the men who develop feelings for me, not the other way around. This was my response…

Sounds like you’ve been thinking about me today. I warned you lol
I think you have to make a decision. You’ve either mentioned or asked me a few times now about what “this” is. It sounds to me like you do want to spend time with me outside the bedroom, but you’re afraid. Either of it blowing up because you have limited available time, or because of something you haven’t said yet. I rarely find men I want to spend my time with, but I like you. I would spend time with you. However, I don’t want to get any more invested if we’re casual, and I will pull back. I don’t want either of us to get hurt. So, think about it. I mean, realistically, when would you ever have the time to spend with me or anyone? Could you handle us not emailing and just having sex?

He didn’t respond directly to that message, but he has continued to message me since. At this point, I’m not going to worry about it anymore. Frankly, I like him, but I’m also ok if I never see him again. I’ll still fool around with him and will continue my search for something more. And when he has been taken over completely by my charms and wants to make the time for me, I may not have the time for him. Amy out, muthafucka.

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