Go Away, Flu Devil

I have what I assume is the flu. I’ve been sick since Friday. I was going back and forth to Weyburn all week (roughly an hour away from home) for work and was dealing with some stress and anxiety and just got run down. As soon as I walked through my front door on Friday afternoon, I got the chills, a headache, and I couldn’t stand up anymore. I went straight to bed and slept for 15 hours. When I finally woke up, my sheets were soaked in sweat. Like, s-o-a-k-e-d. Not just damp. Dripping. Oh, and when I first fell asleep, I woke up 3 times covered in a drool. I was so tired that I fell asleep face first on my pillow with my mouth wide open. I had to turn the pillow each time. I briefly felt better on Saturday, but that was short-lived since I went out with some friends and ended up with the flu PLUS a hangover the next day. I haven’t puked against my will from alcohol for years, but being sick at the same time made it happen. Let me tell you, taco-in-a-bag is reallyunpleasant on the way up. I had to have a nap on the bathroom floor because I couldn’t move. It made for a nice little scene with me curled up, almost naked, my head on a towel, and my butt over the heat register. And the cat and dog cuddled next to me. I made it into work yesterday, but it was a long day. Today, I stayed home (and actually felt bad about it b/c I left my training partner to train all alone) and added the trots to my symptoms. I left the house momentarily to try and get food, but it became clear very quickly that I should not have been driving. Everything was so bright and it felt like stationary objects were moving around me. I can’t sleep at night because nightmares wake me up and then I start hallucinating about things in my bedroom. I haven’t really eaten for days, but I am staying hydrated.

Another thing: Remember this? Well, after 10 days of intense pms, and another week of minor, annoying pms, I finally got my period. It coincided with the flu. Winning.

I just want to feel better. You know what I don’t want? Some guy asking if he can come over and lay in bed with me. Seriously? I say I have the flu and his first thought is to see if he can take advantage seduce me in my weakened state? First of all, the last thing on my hurting brain is getting down when I can barely stand up. Secondly, even if I was ok with something ridiculous like flu sex, personal hygiene is not high on my list of priorities right now.

And now, I must die.


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