I’ve had pms for a week now. A freaking week. On Monday I was irritable and my stomach was upset, on Tuesday I was hungry. Really hungry. I wanted sweets and I don’t care for sweets that much. And still irritable. On Wednesday my skin broke out horribly. And I was still hungry and irritable. Thursday and Friday I felt bloated. And obviously irritable. Not so hungry though. Cramps knocked me out on Saturday. I almost never get cramps, and if I do, they certainly aren’t anything I need to be a pussy about. But I could not sit comfortably and every slight movement made me jump out of my seat. It felt like I needed to start pushing out a baby. I even went to the bathroom to try, just in case. It turns out that made it worse. I just wanted someone to cut out my vagina and everything associated with it. Just reach up and rip that uterus right the fuck out of me. Did I mention I was hungry and irritable? Sunday…cramps and breast tenderness. Today, a little of everything. And there’s still no goddamn blood! Where’s the uterine lining that nature demands I shed after fucking me around for a week?! WHERE IS IT???
Throughout the week, I found out that at least 3 of my girlfriends also started their periods, and a couple of those friends had friends who started theirs. One of my girlfriends who normally gets rank cramps didn’t have them this time around. I’m the oppostie of a Dementor. I eat pain.
There can only be one of two possibilities at this point….I’m the ultimate empathizer, OR, pregnant.