The Politics of Fat (Vote “No” on Proposition Fat)

This was brought to my attention today:

Fat Happiness Day Tues. January 31, 2012 Time: 12 – 1:30pm Place: SFPIRG Lounge, TC 326 in the Rotunda, SFU Burnaby Campus
Fat Happiness Day is a chance for members of the SFU community to gather together for a facilitated discussion about the politics of fat and body size diversity. Bring your fat happiness – and yes, also your struggle and pain around this issue – and join us in the SFPIRG lounge. This event is co-sponsored by Fat Panic! Vancouver – an alliance of people of all sizes who are committed to ending the oppression of fat people, and to working towards a society in which no one is taught to hate their own or anyone else’s body, for any reason. There will be cupcakes!

(Did anyone else just imagine a group of obese individuals with signs like “Fat For Life”, “Too Obese To Quit”, and “Lick The Jelly in My Roll”, while chanting something like, “We’re fat, We’re phat, Get used to it”?)

Ok, wtf? Fat Happiness Day? Fat Panic? The oppression of fat people? If you’re so fat that you feel oppressed, I don’t think that you need to be hanging out with a group of people encouraging you to love your obesity and eat a cupcake. Speaking from experience, it’s a terrible feeling when you’re made fun of or rejected for the size of your body. But that doesn’t mean that I think an event like this should exist. Why can’t it be more general and focus on health and self-esteem? My friend Maria made a good point…the “skinny” women I’ve known throughout my life are the ones with the biggest body issues (Are men the same?).

Obviously no one should hate their body, or anyone else’s, but I just don’t see this as a positive event like it’s supposed to be. I’m confident and I love my body, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to work on changing it and better my own health. I don’t aspire to be skinny, just epic hotness. If a person is “fat” and unhappy, no amount of acceptance from other people is going to change that. I’m not going to feel better about myself just because some douches suddenly tell me it’s ok for me to be above a certain size now. That they “accept” me. I think this whole thing should be focused on helping people feel good about themselves no matter what size they are, and whether or not they want to change that. Once other people see how confident you are and how great you feel about yourself, they’ll naturally want to be around you and accept you. On the otherhand, if you shuffle around like a fat slob and present yourself to the world that way, that’s how you’ll be perceived and I’d probably judge you too.

So, a couple thoughts to leave you with. Don’t be a fat bastard. And cupcakes? Eat a dick. Less calories.

What do you guys think?

PS. I wrote this post while I was in the bathtub.

Ramble Block

I think I have blogger’s block. All kinds of funny, stupid, and regular things have been happening in my life and I can’t seem to come up with the motivation to write about any of them. So I’m going to just start spewing randomly and see how it goes. My apologies for the twists and turns and tangents. Strike that. No apologies. How I write is essentially how I talk.

As far as my weight loss goes, I’ve been at a bit of a standstill. Total lack of motivation and not really caring. I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety lately and very disorganized. And sometimes I just feel generally behind my peers. I remind myself that my path doesn’t have to match anyone else’s, but sometimes, I just want to fit in, you know? So with that thought, I’ve been reading my own blog and reminding myself why I started doing this in the first place, and I’m going back to the rules. I need to constantly supervise myself or else I will make poor choices. I haven’t done an official weigh day in a few weeks so I’m definitely going to post one tomorrow.

I went to deep water aquasize last night. The first class I went to, it was near the beginning of the course and things were pretty basic. It shows that I didn’t go for two and a half weeks. The instructor upped the intensity. My legs were killing me when I got home last night and when I went to zumba tonight, my legs were shaking. Tonight’s zumba class was different than the other ones I’ve been to. I go to Gold’s gym in the south end of Regina and those classes are go-go-go. It’s pretty much a full hour of intense fun, learn as you go. Tonight was a class at the neighbourhood centre in Cathedral. I signed up for it because my work friend Kim wanted to go and she wouldn’t go without a buddy. So I agreed I would go if it gave her the motivation to get into a fitness routine also. She missed the first class! Granted, she did have the only excuse I told her I would accept for her missing a class (son’s hockey game). Anyways, it was a totally different vibe than the classes I normally go to. The instructor is the mom of someone I work with and approximately 2/3rds of the women in the class were over 40 with a number of those ones being over 50. It was much lower impact and we only did 6 or so songs, plus warmup and cool down. She showed us all the moves we would be doing before each song. It was a nice change to have an idea of what would be happening and actually have the moves explained rather than trying to master them on the fly. That being said, I do hope it gets faster.

My mom called my last Saturday night. There’s nothing really ususual about that, except that it was at midnight. The only time my parents call me that late is if something is wrong so I was a little worried when I answered the phone. But she couldn’t sleep and just wanted to say hello and figured there would be a good chance I’d be awake. I was, of course. I was just getting ready for bed. She really rolled the dice on that one though. Calling me on a Saturday night? 9 times out of 10 she’d be getting drunk Amy. And then who knows where the conversation would go. While drinking, I once called my mom and said “Vagina skulls. Hard as fuck” and then hung up. I also once called her from a party just to say hello. She asked me if I knew what time it was. I said yes, 330 (am).

I haven’t been drinking as much as I used to. Which is good I suppose, except that it hasn’t been a conscious effort so far. It’s odd for me not to want to go out and party.

Have you ever received this text message? “I meant to ask you something. Some Mark guy on facebook says he knows you and keeps asking me for your number. Like about 5 times. You want me to forward your number to him? I copied his profile pic to this link.” And then it gives you a link to click on. My friend at work sends that to me and I immediately forward it to a bunch of people. And show it to a bunch of people at work. I love working with hilarious, laid-back people. Some of the comments? We told one guy to forward it to his girlfriend and he said “No! She needs to be happy with what she has!” Another guy looked at it and said “I wonder why they changed my skin colour?” And my favourite is when my work friend forwarded it to her friend who happens to be married to someone we work with at the outage centre (he’s black) and he sends a message saying “Why are you sending my wife pictures of guys with small dicks?”

There’s some stuff I’m working on that I will share with you in the near future. I’m kind of excited about

I’m going to sleep now.

Montreal

My trip in photos. Jan, poutine, wine, sangria, beer, eggs, and strangers.

Halls Advice

I came back from Montreal (will post about trip later) with a rank cold so I’ve been popping advil cold and sinus all day, along with lemon Halls. The individual wrappers now have little sayings on them. My favourite from today is “Don’t try harder, Do harder”. That’s my new motto. Except for today and tomorrow. It’s way too fucking cold to do anything but cuddle with Walter. -27 today and it feels like -41 with the wind. It’s going to be even colder tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I Fly

Tomorrow I fly to Montreal to visit my amazing friend, Jan Wagner! I haven’t seen her since she moved in July and I am very excited. Plus, it’s Montreal! How cool is that city, right?! I’m not sure I will blog anything while I am there, but possibly. I will, however, definitely be tweeting, so you can follow my adventures there 🙂

Do You Get Naked In Front Of Strangers?

It’s pretty easy to not get naked in front of strangers. In a gym locker room, I mean. I never shower at the gym. I go and workout, and sometimes I change, and sometimes I don’t. Most of the time I don’t bother since I’m just going straight home anyways. But if I do have to change, I’m not that shy about it. Although I don’t think I ever just stand there in my bra and panties. I’ll usually only be half undressed at any given time. I’m not sure why that would make a difference. If I have no shirt on, you still see my stomach. If I have no pants on, you see my legs. And we all know I’m pants optional most of the time anyways. If you see either end at separate points, I’m sure you can imagine them together. I used to be more uncomfortable with my body, worried that other women would be judging me because of my size, but I’ve learned that no matter what they’re thinking about you (and some will judge because they’re slutfaces) , they are way more worried about some perceived imperfection about themselves and hiding said imperfection from YOUR eyes.

Tonight, when I went swimming, I hadn’t even thought about it. I put my swimsuit on before I went to the pool so all I had to do was undress. After the pool, it was a different story. I changed in the open, but mostly shielded myself with a towel and it occurred to me that the only reason I was shielding myself was for the benefit of others. I find it slightly awkward if I’m in a change room and other women get buck naked. I feel weird looking, but I also feel like it’s super obvious if I just avoid looking in their general direction. But it’s just tits and ass, right? Right. Those women should be so lucky to see me in all my glory. I don’t think I’ll be flashing the vag around like it’s a new diamond ring or anything, but I’m not going to worry about anyone looking at me. So, if you want a shot at seeing all the bounty under these clothes, join me for some water aerobics on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I’m A Gazelle!

My friend Angela and I went to deep water aquasize tonight. It’s like regular water aerobics, but in deep water and you wear a flotation belt. There’s not much to say except that I was a gazelle. A graceful, water gazelle, fluidly moving through the pool in perfect rhythm, all my moves quick and agile.

Right. This is probably more accurate…