The Time I Bled Everywhere

So on Tuesday nights in Puerto Vallarta, they have a foam party at a club called Collage. They may do the foam every night, but Tuesday is supposed to be the best night. So guess what we did on Tuesday? Yep, foam party! For 450 pesos, you get cover and an open bar all night long. It was awesome! Foam rains down on the dance floor from a tube on the ceiling and it’s not long before you’re waist-deep in bubbles. It does get slippery though. Jim jumped up on a booth to dance behind a guy passed out and slipped off the booth as soon as he made it up. His second jump was better, even with the newly twisted knee lol

There was a wet t-shirt contest early on. I think there were only 4 or 5 girls who took part. We had run into Pepe almost as soon as we got there. Pepe works at the Riu Vallarta which is the resort we stayed at in April.

He definitely remembered us and gave me a big hug. Apparently he works Collage for awhile on Tuesday nights, just until the t-shirt thing is done. He’s a nice guy. When the dude trying to recruit girls to enter the contest started to talk to us, Pepe stepped in and told him to leave us alone. Anyways, the things the girls came out in were definitely not t-shirts. They were basically strips of white material. Small strips. Most of the girls had them tied on like bikinis, over their bikinis. The runner-up kept her top on and used the strip around her ass. She had a great ass so it made sense for her to be showing that off. Definitely a hot girl. The winner was the only one in the bunch who took her top off. She came out with the tiny strip of material wrapped around her giant breasts, bandeau style. It came off pretty quickly. What happens in Mexico and whatnot. Of course I danced with both winners when the contest was over.

It was sometime after this that I fell off my stool. I think I was getting up to go dance and slipped or something like that. My jerk friends laughed hysterically and two nice locals sitting behind us helped me up and made sure I was ok. Jerk friends. Although to be fair, when Jim biffed it, all I did was point and laugh.

The bleeding happened when I was out on the dancefloor. I had long ago removed my flip flops. They were too hard to walk in once I was on the dancefloor. There ends up being probably a foot or so of water on the bottom and it’s hard to walk (next time I’ll make sure I have water shoes or something). Someone had brought a whole bottle of something out to dance and was sharing it with the people around him. It was accidentally knocked out of his hand, and although they tried to find it, it had smashed when it hit the floor. I didn’t even know this had happened which is probably why I was still out dancing. I left the dancefloor to go sit down and it felt like my foot was still getting wet, even though I was on dry land. So I asked Jen if my foot was bleeding. She looks briefly and says no, you’re ok. But I can still feel it so I ask her again. She tells me to put my foot up on her leg and she’ll look closer. I was bleeding. Turns out I cut my foot in 4 places. She ripped off her shirt (she was wearing 2 tank tops), and wrapped my foot in it. I grabbed my flip flop that I had put on when I got off the dancefloor and it was covered in blood. I carried it as it was in order to take pictures of it when we got back to the resort. Jen starts yelling something along the lines of “Amy Fucking Campbell needs medical attention!” Another patron notices me bleeding and freaks out because he’s already been freaking out because he’s bleeding and so are 4 or so other people. They’ve all been cut by the rogue bottle. And not just on their feet. A lot of the guys had been “swimming” in the foam and they’d dive under the surface and crawl along the floor. The club is closing down at this point so we decide the best option is to wrap my foot in a table cloth. We get back to the resort and I get fixed up. I’m travelling with a nurse who is also a mom and she’s got a mini emergency centre in her suitcase.


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