Long-Crotch Silver

Long-crotch. It’s a real thing. I don’t know if it’s a problem in regular jeans, but it is a definite problem with plus size jeans. Was there a memo that went out to designers telling them that plus size women also have Chyna clit and we need the extra crotch space? I tried on 6 pairs of jeans tonight and just when I thought I’d found the perfect pair (they were a great length, great wash, gave me an ass…), I tested them. You know, sitting, walking, squats, and captain’s pose. The captain’s pose while looking in a mirror is what caught the flaw. The long-crotch was well hidden until that moment. You see, when I did the captain’s pose, the extra space in the crotch bled over into the thigh area, creating an effect best described as squeezing a week-old balloon with your hand and poking at the bubble that pops out the top. Not flattering. I need clean lines for those spontaneous captain’s pose moments!  Fucking long-crotch.

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