Did You Know…

that Mexican strippers are also Mexican hookers? I didn’t. But now I do. You see, on my last night in Puerto Vallarta, James, Jen, and myself decided to check out a strip club. We had originally planned to check it out on Tuesday after the foam party, but had to cut the night short due to blood loss (More on this in another post). The club was called Candy’s. I should have googled it first. Go ahead and do that on your own now. It was after 230am so as you can imagine, we were pretty ripped. My memories are foggy at best. But I do know that Jen and myself got in for free, we danced on a bench, and made friends with a prostistripper who I think was named Esmerelda. It seemed there were always bouncers watching us and I had to buy Esmerelda a drink for sitting with us. She came over because when we walked in and I was looking around, we made eye contact which she told me felt like a “connection.” She and I chatted for a bit, talking, laughing, and then she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her. Umm…what?

E: You want have sex with me?

A: You DO that?!

E: Oh yeah!

A: Do ALL the girls do that?!

E: Oh yes.

A: Oh. Well, no thank you. You’re very attractive, but it’s not my thing.

And then we kept chatting. And then this little conversation happened…

A: I feel bad about keeping you here. None of us are going to have sex with you. Do you need to find someone to have sex with? What about those guys *points*? They keep looking over here. You could probably have sex with them.

E: *looks at men* No, I don’t like them. They’re ugly.

A: Will you get in trouble for not making money? Do you have a pimp who will be pissed?

E: *laughs* No, I choose. I don’t like anyone else in here. It’s ok you don’t spend money. I like sitting here.

That’s me. Making sure the working girl makes her money and avoids the bitch slaps. We went home not long after this. Here’s a few pictures from our Candy’s experience. I asked Esmerelda if we could take some pictures and she said yes and made sure the bouncers knew that it was ok with her. She really was very sweet. She told me about her family and all kinds of things that I only vaguely remember. Anyways, pictures…


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