Update

I’ve been really busy lately between work and family and friend obligations and hangouts, so I haven’t had a whole lot of time for blogging. I’m setting aside some time right now (at work lol) to read and I can’t wait to get caught up with all of you!

Here’s what’s been going on with me:

I’ve decided my big 30th birthday celebration is going to be in Mexico instead of Vegas. After a lot of planning, vacation site watching, emails, texts, bbms, etc, Vegas just wasn’t looking like the best option in terms of flights, price, and timeline. I still plan on going, but sometime next year instead of right now. I ended up stumbling upon a really good deal to Nuevo Vallarta. We’re going to be staying at Marival Resort and Suites for about $860 per person. Great deal, right?! I know, hard to pass up. So we’re booked and ready to go!

Now, let me tell you about the drama surrounding this trip. You already know part of it based on this, but that wasn’t the end of the drama. I had decided that maybe I should give it another shot instead of icing her out and see if she wanted to talk over a bottle of wine. But then she messaged me and this was a piece of our last conversation after she “apologized” to me when I called her out on booking a separate trip. An apology with a “but” in it is not an apology.
Amy Danger: Your answer about work is bullshit. I told you what weekend it was going to be, and if you conveniently forgot, you could have asked. The only time off you woud need with me is the monday you just told me you could get off. Not only that, you had the nerve to ask my best friend to go with you! Your head has really been up your ass lately and I’d like to think that you’re sincere, but your inability to consider anyone’s feeling but your own really make me doubt you.
Amy Danger: I don’t think you should talk to me until you’ve re-evaluated some of your priorities and stop always trying to find greener grass. None of your friends appreciate it and although I care about you, I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t seem to care about hurting my feelings.
Amy Danger: And its not just about a trip to vegas. Its my birthday. A trip we’ve been planning for a year and you’ve been consistently telling me how excited you are about it and how much fun we were going to have. I’m really disapponted in you.

We haven’t spoken since.

(I’m having a bad few months here. Normally this bullshit is not in my personal realm.) Just last weekend I was complaining about how stressful it was getting to try and find a trip that fit everyone’s time and budget, and a friend of mine said to me, ‘you know, I’d really like to go to Vegas for your birthday. It makes sense. You’ve already been to Mexico, you’ve been planning for Vegas, and honestly, laying on a beach all day doesn’t interest me that much. BUT, it’s your birthday, pick whatever you want to do and I’m good with that.’ Fast forward to last night when I message her and say that I’ve decided on Mexico. Imagine my surprise when she says, ”No, I won’t be going to Mexico.” Umm…what? So I told her if she was worried it’d be all beach laying, that’s not the case. And there’s tons of adventures to take while you’re in Mexico, we can do all kinds of things besides lay on the beach. I also made the point that she had said she was good with whatever. Her response to that was to say she wanted me to pick whatever I really wanted to do for my birthday. Right. So I said I was disappointed, but that I couldn’t make her come with me.

This morning, I messaged her again saying it was her last chance, prices had dropped and we were about to book it, so if she was at all interested, now was the time. Now, I know it’s hard to read into text messages. You can’t really tell tone, but all her responses through the whole thing have been very short, almost curt, and with no explanation of anything. So at this point, I’m feeling a little hurt. I thought it would be fun to organize a trip and get a bunch of friends together to celebrate my birthday and just have a great time. The location was kind of secondary. Apparently not. I mean, I know it’s been a lot of back and forth and maybe we’ll do this and maybe we’ll do that, but I was trying to accomodate everyone .

Now, onto the next bit. This friend has been also been saying for the last year that she’d really like to go. And we’ve been talking about it and she’s always been really excited. I’ve been reminding her along the way that she needs to get a passport. I’ve been keeping her up to speed with details over the past couple weeks, but I had this sneaking suspicion that she hadn’t actually done anything about it yet. So when I asked her about it yesterday, she admitted that she hadn’t even applied for her passport yet, so I offered to help her get the application in and told her there was a fee she could pay to have it rushed. She seemed pumped about that, but then I never heard any more about it. I was fed up by this time. Needless to say, she’s not coming.

I’m really annoyed and hurt by it all. I haven’t expressed myself to them about it yet. One of them reads this blog, so I guess she’s going to see this. I couldn’t not write about it though. I need to get it all out. I feel like it’s not important (and I’m not important) enough to them to not ditch out at the last minute and for them not to talk to me about it…well wtf! They know all about my other friend’s dick move in booking a separate trip to vegas and then they pull this! These are some of my best friends, they aren’t just casual acquaintances who were invited along for the ride. I’m feeling the shaft. And not in the fun, put-it-where-you-want kind of way.

Let’s see…what else is happening in my life? My second job is going good. I really enjoy it most of the time. It’s at a retail store where I get 50% off which is really nice. Plus, I get to dress up and do my hair and makeup every time I go in. It’s expected. It’s a nice change from my fulltime job which is really casual most of the time.

I’ve been drinking way too much when I drink lately. There are so many things I don’t remember. Luckily most of the next morning stories are funny, but once in awhile, I get mouthy and say hurtful things. I was informed I did this the other weekend to a very good friend of mine. I was glad she told me though. It gave me an opportunity to apologize and really consider why I drank to that point. And the next time we went out, I kept it at a fun and happy level and we had a fun little night. I’ll tell you more about that in my next post.

I’m also pursuing a certificate in Adult Education. It’s just 3 days a month until March and I think I will continue with it after and end up with a diploma. I’m hoping it will open some doors for me career-wise. I’m feeling a little stagnant with work. The shifts are getting to me, and there is always some level of unrest these days.

Health and weight-wise, I’ve been seriously slacking. I was momentarily back on track, but the last couple of weeks, I just haven’t even cared. I haven’t been weighing myself, I haven’t been tracking my food or following my own rules, and I definitely haven’t been exercising. I don’t think I’m doing terrible, but I’m just not doing anything.  Thankfully I have an amazing support system between you readers and the girlfriends I have who are on the same journey. You are all a constant source of inspiration and motivation and competition. When I see someone else losing weight each week, it makes me get up and do something, even if it’s only for a day or two before I lose motivation and have to start again the next week.

So, that’s the long and short of it. Stay tuned for more!

As a footnote, I almost didn’t include all the information that I did, but writing is how I feel better. So I’ve decided that mostly full disclosure is the way to go.

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4 thoughts on “Update

  1. Writing how you feel is the best way to go!! It is great thearpy and
    by you putting it out there takes the anxiety off you and you can put it to rest. Friends can be tricky, why say you are going to do it and then you know full well you cannot, then say you cannot.
    I love being invited and included in everything and in the past it got me in trouble, until a few great friends told me stop it just say no if you can’t make it, we won’t hate you if you are honest up front.
    As for the weight loss, lets say I had too much fun on my holiday,gained 3 lbs, but have taken it off and I’m after aweek back home trying to get back on track. I have not weighed myself but I will on Wednesday I promised myself. You have a great wonderful, exciting birthday!! Cheers, wish I was going with you .

  2. I’m sorry things went so tits-up with the original trip members. I don’t think it speaks to a lack of love for you on their part – it just always seems to happen that big trips sound like a good idea at the time but then when it comes time to book days off work and get the money together, most people drop out. It’s happened to me countless times so I understand your frustration. Talk to them about feeling unimportant – give them a chance to apologize and be willing to move on without holding a grudge once they do. They love you. We all do.

    • Thanks, but I’m not worried about them loving me and its not about a large group. Its literally 3 people who I expected more of and who made me feel like they didn’t consider my feelings.

    • I’m not so delicate that I think my friends don’t care about me or love me because of this. I’m very selfish when it comes to my birthday. I want it about me. Well, I want it all about me a lot of the time, but I’m pretty adamant about it in November every year lol Maybe its more that I feel unappreciated for trying to fit everyone’s schedule and budget in and keeping them as up to date as I could and then they backed out with no warning or apology.

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