Have you ever had to ice someone out of your life? I think I’m going to have to do it. I think I’m already doing it.

If you read my earlier post about bacon and friendship, it’s one of the friends from that post. You can read it here to refresh your memory. (And if you’re wondering how that friendship is progressing, let’s just say that it hasn’t taken long to realize turkey bacon isn’t bacon at all)

So, my birthday is in November and I always plan my parties well in advance. And I told all my friends last November that for my 30th this year, I wanted to do a Dirty 30 in Vegas. What better place to celebrate, right? So this friend has said from the beginning that she’s in. And she’s been talking about it all year long, about how much fun it’s going to be. I haven’t booked anything yet because not everyone has all their money saved up and we’re waiting for a sweet deal, but I’ve let everyone know the weekend that we’re going. Now, since she’s been leeching on my best friend all summer long, my bff tells me on Saturday that this other friend has already booked her Vegas vacation. With other people. For the week after I’ll be there. For my birthday. Have I mentioned it’s for my goddamn birthday?! And then she has the nerve to tell MY best friend about this trip she booked because it was such a good deal and ask her to go with them. My bff was like, umm…I’ll be there the weekend before. You know, for Amy’s birthday. It was like the thought never even crossed her mind. Or perhaps only briefly and I clearly am not very important to her. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that she hasn’t told me herself yet that she’s booked a different trip either. I know, she’s a real class act.

The worst part is, this is not the first time she’s burned me. There’s a running joke between myself and some other friends about “triple booking” which she somehow managed to do on my birthday a couple years ago. Again, I plan well in advance so she knew at least 2 months ahead of time what was happening for my birthday. And then she showed up for less than an hour, acted like an asshat, and left to go to the bar with some other friends. And not for anything special, just a regular night out.

I know all my friends fairly well. I have no illusions about them. As great as they are, I know their faults. And I love them because of them and in spite of them. Either you accept someone as they are or you don’t. And generally, I do. But I can only be pushed so far. Second chances have to end and I’m the fool now. So fuck it. I no longer accept her the way she is. I’ve been able to get around a lot of her faults (and believe me, there’s plenty), but I’m done. Let the icing commence!



14 thoughts on “Icing

  1. Letting go of friends is really hard, because you feel like the nasty one. But when someone regularly makes you feel that they don’t care for you, then the letting go is such a relief. I’ve found myself putting far more into a couple of friendships than I was getting back, and when I eventually stopped and stepped away, it was the most relieving feeling. Every now and then it will get back to me on a grapevine that the other person doesn’t understand what happened, but I always remind myself that if they had picked up the phone and invited me to something, or talked with me more often, they wouldn’t have to not understand, because we would still be friends.

    • It’s definitely hard. I think it’s time though. The other thing I didnt’ mention is that she isn’t very good at keeping friends. She’s very much about impressing people and has a grass is always greener kind of attitude.

  2. That’s brutal. Some people just care more about themselves than other people. Those people are just not worth having around not in your life and definitely not for your birthday. I can only imagine if she did come on your trip–she’d probably leave the club you 20 minutes later to go off with random strangers.

    Btw, totally unrelated, but if you want an amazing seafood meal for your birthday dinner, try Bartolotta at the Wynn. They fly in their seafood from Italy every day and it is ridiculously good. Also, if the weather permits, you can book yourself a private cabana to eat in that surrounds their koi pond. (that is where i celebrated my 30th with girlfriends last year). Ooh…and if you want something extra fun, and there are at least 4 of your, book the “Girls Night Out” experience at the MAC store in the Forum Shops. You get your make up done in a private studio and you can bring in booze and food while you get ready for your big night out. It is $100 each and you get to use that $100 for MAC product. Again I did this for my birthday last year and it was sooo much fun. So yeah, i will stop rambling now. Happy early birthday!

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