Every day is pants optional day for me. I take my pants off a lot. It’s comfortable, cool, and funny. Especially when someone turns the corner or looks away for just a second and then they look back and see you. Pantsless.
People taking their pants off is always funny. No matter what. Even in ridiculous situations. One weekend a couple years ago, a friend and myself went to visit her boyfriend in Saskatoon. He had this roommate who tried to pick me up both nights that we stayed there. The first night went something like this…we get back from the bar and my friend and her bf go to bed. The roommate (let’s call him Brandon. Because that’s his name.) and I stayed up drinking and chatting. At one point, something outside catches my eye and I go to the livingroom window to look out. I turn around and Brandon is sitting on the couch with his pants off.
Me: laughing, where are your pants?
B: I took them off.
B: I thought, maybe, you know. *looks at me and then at his penis and back at me again*
Me: laughing some more, That’s your big move? Go to bed Brandon.
B: Are you sure?
Me: (as sincerely as possible) It’s a tempting offer, but yes, I’m sure. Good night.
The next night, he showed me his dick. Equally funny.
I also enjoy it when I’m not wearing any pants in front of my friend Shayne, who also happens to be dating my roommate. Up to this point, it has never been intentional when we’ve interacted while I’m sans pants. The first time it happened, I had spent the night on Shayne’s couch after a party. I of course took my pants off to sleep because who the hell sleeps in their pants if they have enough wits about them to take them off? I considered putting them on before I got up to use the bathroom, but figured, hell, everyone is sleeping, I’ll do it in the bathroom. Yeah, just as I was starting down the hallway, Shayne came upstairs. Our eyes met.
Me: I’m not wearing any pants.
Shayne: Nice purple panties.
The most recent time (unless he saw me last night. The rye and rum did some short-term memory housecleaning) was a few weeks ago. I had just woken up and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast. My sleeping attire varies. This day I woke up in a tank top and my gitch. I’m standing in the kitchen and I hear Shayne coming up the stairs. For a brief second, I considered hiding in the pantry, but then realized I didn’t care. He could hear me in the kitchen and started talking to me before he turned the corner.
Me: Good morning Shayne.
Shayne: Good morning Amy Campbell…*turns corner*…in her underwear.
He then continued outside for his morning cigarette.
Here’s my challenge to you: Every day is pants optional. Opt for pants off.