Isn’t Online Dating Fun?

This is a recent post from my old blog that I thought I’d throw in here. And the second is from January of this year.

I apologize for the quotation marks in advance.

So I’ve been noticing the ads more than I used to on Plenty of Fish. Maybe it’s because most of the profiles are so lame and I need something better to look at. Anyways, they’re clearly geared towards each individual profile for the most part. I’m on the website now and one of the ads is “Find Your Sugar Daddy”.  It claims that by signing up, I will be able to find a rich man in Saskatchewan to take care of me. The picture to go with the ad is of a young blonde woman and a handsome older man on a sailboat. Is there a secret ocean in Saskatchewan? Tell me now!

Of course there are all the ones geared towards 29 year olds. Last year at this time I was seeing ads for how many men want a 28 year old woman.  I bet all kinds of men are going to want me once I turn 30.

The ones that really make me annoyed and laugh at the same time are the contradicting ones. For instance, there is one telling me how many men are begging for women with “curves”.   Another says “Are you a little bigger?” and assures me millions of men are looking for a 25-29 year old woman just like me.  My favourite is “No Skinny Women Allowed” and has a fat chick cartoon character in a bikini.  It claims I will “meet wealthy men who aren’t looking for ‘little Barbies’. They want a real woman!” (I should note I also keep getting ads that I should try dating a black man. Coincidence?) I’ve just clicked to a different page and I have 3 ads in front of me all saying the same thing: “Simple Weight Loss for Women”, “Wanna Stop Gaining Weight?”, and ”Lose 30 pounds in 30 days”.  So, which is it POF?  I don’t see how I’ll ever find myself a black sugar daddy who wants a “real 29 year old woman” to take me sailing around Saskatchewan if I take your other subtle advice and lose some excess weight.

January:

So, I have a profile on plenty of fish. It’s been an interesting experience so far. I have had some hilarious responses. For example, last night a young man messaged me asking how I was and if I’d like to chat. Why not? So we chatted for a bit, just regular stuff, how are you, how’s your weekend been, etc. He said his weekend was pretty boring and it would be nice to end it with some excitement. I asked him what kind of excitement (I almost always play into these conversations since they ALWAYS make for hilarious stories afterwards). He said anything that was different from watching tv and playing xbox. I wished him luck with that and I was going to bed. He then asked me if I would be interested in helping him out with a fantasy sometime. My interest was peaked. What kind of fantasy I asked? He replied “Can I tittie fuck you? I’ve never done that before.” Really? Do men really think it’s ok to ask women they’ve never even met something like that? And also, is his imagination seriously that limited that the best fantasy he can come up with is to tittie fuck someone? Wait, I take that back. I mean, I’d want to put my dick between breasts like mine too if I had a dick. Fair enough then.

But my all-time favourite response to my profile has to be this next gem. My main picture is this…

As you can imagine, I was not that surprised when I received this message, but I was highly amused: “Can I cum in your mouth?” I lmao and then told him given my main picture, I accepted his response, but no. His next question of course was “Do you want to do anal?” And my answer to that was of course, yes. Because although I hate dick juice in my mouth, I just can’t get enough of it in my ass.

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One thought on “Isn’t Online Dating Fun?

  1. Pingback: Online Opening Lines « thehungrycinderella

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