I am. Kind of. It’s like when you see someone you know at the grocery store and your eyes meet for a few seconds, but you don’t say hi, and then you realize that you should have said hi, but you’ve already turned the corner and to go back and say hi now would just seem stupid. The moment has passed and it’s hard to find another.
I signed up for a 2 year membership at Gold’s in February of 2010. I went for 3 months and haven’t been back since. I have tons of excuses, but nothing good enough for not going. I even signed up for some personal training sessions, and I only used a few of them. I think I have at least 20 of them left. So basically I’ve been wasting a lot of money for a year and a half. I want to get back into it, but it’s hard. I find that I do have the motivation to go once I get into the swing of going on a regular basis, but once I start slacking, I’m done.
I also want to make sure I get the best out of my personal training sessions. The best for me. I’m pretty easy-going and will attempt whatever they’d like me to attempt. But I don’t enjoy it. Wait, let’s go further than that. I despise it. I despise running across the gym chasing after balls. I despise jumping jacks. I despise that move where you lay down, jump into a squat, jump up, and run across the gym just to do it again on the other side. That particular move is like torture. My legs don’t move that fast and I’ve got way too much breast to be jumping around like that. I do not want to be responsible for some passerby being knocked out by a rogue tit. My trainer could barely do them herself and if my trainer can’t do them and doesn’t like to do them, why the hell would I? I don’t feel comfortable doing any of it and frankly, once the personal training sessions are done, I’m not likely to continue doing those kinds of things. In fact, there’s a better chance I’ll magically wake up at my goal weight tomorrow morning than there is of me ever doing these moves on my own.
So, I’ve decided that when I do go back, I want to make it clear that what I need out of my trainer is the understanding that I’m looking for long-term fitness. I want to learn how to use each and every machine that the gym supplies. I want a few basic routines that I can do and am likely to do on my own. I want to make the most of my time at the gym, but I don’t want to dread going either. I want to make fitness a regular part of my life. And I’m giving myself a week from today to create my moment and take my first step back. I’m almost positive that when I scan my card there will be no sirens or flashing red lights or booming voice that says “You’ve been a bad girl, Amy. A very bad girl. And you’re going to be punished.” Wait, that’s the beginning of a different, more naked scenario I often play in my head.